Maggie;♥ (truexsweet) wrote,

Title: I Won't Say Goodbye
Chapters: 2/3
Author: truexsweet
Genre: Drama, Smut
Ratings: R
Pairings/Characters: AoixUruha,AoixRuki, ReitaxKai, ToraxUruha
Synopsis: This was different. It was a feeling the honey blonde had never felt before, something that made his heart beat rapidly in his chest, and the butterflies knot in his stomach. He was on edge, his anxiety at an all time high. Uruha was waiting for something, or rather in this case someone. He knew he was in trouble, his hand shaking as he eyed the text message on his mobile phone. He found his lip quivering as read over it again for the seventh time, wanting so desperately to try and deny that it was in fact his lover of five years trying to end their relationship.
Comments: This is something I've been working on for a few days now. I hope you guys enjoy it.Comments are always appreciated. <3

The morning air was cool as Uruha left his apartment, arms wrapping around himself as he tried to keep warm. He was still half asleep, his slender, lithe form taking time to wake and heat as he walked. He knew it was earlier than noon, the sun in the sky not quite centered like it should, and it was still somewhat dim as he left for his journey to the park.

He was carrying his guitar on his back, the desire to play pumping his body with adrenaline and making his tired body move at a brisk pace. He didn’t live far from the park, but he decided he wanted to take the longer way. There were so many thoughts swimming around in his head. Aoi must have known. How could he have gotten the timing perfect? As soon as he left the shower there was a text, followed by Ruki who was still in the apartment. He was beginning to panic.

There were a lot of things he thought about, but there was one particular thought that made him scowl. That fucking midget. He was ruining his life. He took away Aoi. His Aoi. Aoi should have belonged to him, but he had to share. It didn’t matter that Ruki had him first. Only Uruha could make him complete, bring him happiness, or at least that’s what he told himself.

“How dare you, you fucking traitor…” The words shot like venom as his eyes narrowed, his deadly gaze being brought to the park’s sign. He hated Ruki. Not only was Ruki trying to win Aoi’s heart, but now he was trying to separate Aoi from him altogether. “He’s mine.”

He pushed through the gate, the wind blowing it in a frenzy as he passed. It was beginning to storm again, the snowflakes falling, almond hues watching as those little cold beads hit the ground. It was pretty, and Uruha watched as they fell idly, his lips pursing as he focused on them. He could remember when he and Aoi first kissed, it was five years ago, and it was the season’s first snow. He brought his finger to his bottom lip, tracing as he thought about the feeling of Aoi’s pierced ones being pressed against his own. Even now, he still felt that passion, the excitement he felt then.

“Why can’t you love me?” His voice came out pained. He took a seat on the bench, pulling his guitar out and placing it on his lap. He could feel the moisture in his eyes, signaling the tears were fighting for release. Slowly, his fingers began to work their magic, strings releasing a beautiful melodic sound.

Aoi could hear it. He followed the music, and he found himself speechless as he stared in awe at the scene before him. There he was, Uruha sitting on the bench, his gorgeous honey locks covered in snow, his hands playing one of the most beautiful songs he’s ever heard. It didn’t change how he felt though. He was angry, and he knew exactly what he wanted to say and why he was here. “Hey.”

Uruha didn’t bother looking up at first. He knew it was Aoi, his voice very distinct and memorized after so many years. He finished playing his song, and once he was finished, he looked back up at the raven, his lip quivering as he tried desperately to swallow back his sobs. “H-Hi.”

“I wanted to say thank-you.” Aoi could see the confusion that lurked within those almond eyes. He watched as Uruha put his guitar back in its case carefully, his eyes narrowed slightly. “You really fooled me.”

“I..I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Uruha tried to keep his cool. He could feel it in his stomach that this was going somewhere bad. He didn’t want to believe it, that Aoi knew. “Is something wrong.”

“Don’t you dare play fucking games with me!” The raven’s voice was drenched in venom, his expression matching the animosity he was feeling. He was almost in disbelief that Uruha would try to act like nothing happened. “I know about what you did!”

“Baby, please let me explain!” He didn’t know what to do. Uruha could feel his anxiety building, the terror on his face displaying that Aoi’s assumption was correct. “Please! It’s not what you think!”

“You said you loved me.” Aoi’s voice was still cold, but it came out pained this time. “You said you’d be there. You knew I was with Ruki. You wanted to be with me, but here you are, sneaking around with another man. A coworker nonetheless.”

“It’s not like that! He’s a friend of mine! We’ve known each other a long time!” Uruha couldn’t describe what he was feeling. He was hurt, desperate, and even angry. It wasn’t fair. “I was always second, Yuu.”

“You know what, forget this. Forget you. Fuck off. We’re done.” Aoi didn’t want to talk anymore. He said everything he wanted to say. Uruha was a liar. He was the first person that Aoi truly believed in, and now that was gone. The trust, his feelings. His mind was made up. Ruki would be the one he would love. Ruki, who had been there since the beginning would be the one he choose. He would never do anything to hurt him. With a final glance, he turned away and began walking.

Uruha watched as Aoi walked away, tears falling freely as he released a loud cry. His voice was earsplitting as he opened his guitar case, grabbing his precious instrument by the neck and slamming it against the tree, breaking it beyond repair. "Yuu!" He fell to his knees as he held what was left of his guitar, sobs becoming louder and vision hazy from the moisture in his eyes. "I-I love you, but I-I..." He sniffed, whispering now. "Itai..."

“Save it.” The raven seethed, not even bothering to look back. “You’re nothing to me. You won’t ever be. It hurts? I hope it does.” His words were dripped in venom as he found himself stopping. “Do you really think I’d even bother with someone like you? After you had sex with Akira?”

“It was just for fun!” The blonde argued, eying the broken pieces through tear filled eyes. There were his dreams, scattered into tiny little pieces, each one a broken memory that he would never get back. “Besides, you’re one to talk! How long have you truly been in love with Takanori?”

“That’s none of your concern!” Aoi found his hand colliding with the blonde’s face, his eyes narrowed dangerously. “Shut your mouth, slut. You knew how I felt about Takanori before we started dating. After getting a text from him, hearing how you and Akira had sex….I was a fool for ever giving you a chance. Take Ruki’s place…make me fall for you…I was stupid for opening up to you. I hate you.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you. I don’t know what that tramp said to you exactly, but it’s not like that. I didn’t want to have sex with Akira!” It wasn’t a lie. He didn’t want it. He still felt disgusted with himself. Reita had been convincing at the time. He had taken advantage of the mental anguish state Uruha had been in and turned into a big mess.

“So what, did his dick accidently slide into your ass? Did you accidently moan and accidently enjoy it? Come on, Uruha. I’m not a fool” Aoi’s voice was dripping with disgust. Nothing Uruha said could ever change his mind. The fact was that Uruha slept with Reita, and that was crystal clear. The reasons weren’t important. “This conversation is over.”

“That’s it?” The tears wouldn’t stop. Uruha could no longer see the raven, his vision completely blurred and sore from crying. He grabbed Aoi’s hand, holding on as almost if for dear life, his other arm going to wipe his eyes. “I said no. But how can you…be so mad when I had to share you? Why is it okay for you to actually be seeing someone else? Why is it okay for you to go home to him every night? Why is it okay for you to only call me when you want sex? Who’s the real liar, Aoi?”

“You knew what you were to me…”Aoi wasn’t sure what to say. “You knew what Ruki was to me.”

“Yes. He was the one you said made you miserable. He was the one you told me you’d leave. I make one mistake and you’re so quick to walk away. Aoi, heave my words. You’re going to end up alone. You told me I was your everything, that’s what I supposedly was to you. But how can I be your everything when right now I’m not anything.” He couldn’t take it. He slapped Aoi hard across the face. “I’m nothing and never will be. At least not to you.”

Uruha’s words hit Aoi hard. Had he really been that selfish? Had he really hurt Uruha that much? He brought his hand to his cheek, the skin turning a bright red under his touch. He was mad. At Uruha, at Ruki. He was so angry. But Uruha, he didn’t deserve this. He was wrong to lead him on, although it wasn’t a lie. If things were different, he’d be with him. At least that’s what he told himself. “That’s not true.” He said in a hushed tone, looking at the honey blonde sadly. “Really, Kou. That’s not what happened.”
“I really don’t care what happened. And it’s obvious neither do you. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to go pick up my baby and scrape up the money to replace her.” Uruha knew if he continued to listen that this fight would continue to go in circles. He fell to the snow covered ground, picking the guitar up and trying hard to brush the white cold substance off it in an attempt to save it. “I’m so sorry precious.” He murmured quietly, feeling horrible for hurting it. “I guess I have to go to the shop and look around.”

Aoi was shock, the image of his ex-lover walking away breaking his heart. “K-Kouyou..” He turned around to watch him pick up the pieces, and it was hard to fight the urge to go help him. He looked so helpless, kneeling in the snow, his black coat covered in white, and those tiny little snowflakes resting over his hair. He wanted to go over and kneel with him, to hold him, to be the lover he knew he should have been. But he knew Uruha wouldn’t appreciate it. Not after the fight. His head hung down, his gaze fixating on the other’s footprints in the snow. How could he tell himself that it was truly over?

Just when Uruha felt his tears coming to a stop, they began to fall hard. His eyes were so red and swollen, and he wished that he did have someone to hold him. This guitar, it was special. It was the last gift he had received from his mother before she passed. She told him to make his dreams come true. But this was it. The guitar was gone. He would never be able to get it back. “Mama…” He sobbed, holding the neck of the instrument close. “I-I’m so sorry.”

Warm, familiar arms circled around the honey blonde, his breath hitching from the embrace. “L-Let go of me!” He didn’t want to be touched. He tried to shake him off, but Aoi just held on tighter, his head resting on his back. “Kou, please..let me hold you.”

Uruha was wailing as he held onto his piece of the guitar, face burying into the other’s arms. The scent of his cologne was soothing, the warmth making him feel a little more at ease. Aoi would never understand the extent of what he was feeling. Of course being a guitarist Aoi would know the pain of a loss of an instrument. But this was like losing his mother all over again. “Yuu, I want her back!” He whined, dropping the piece of the guitar and turning around to wrap his arms around the other.

Aoi welcomed the honey blonde with open arms, his hold becoming tighter as he allowed the other to cry against his shoulder. “Shhh baby.” He cooed, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Let’s get this cleaned up and go to the shop. I’ll buy you another guitar.”

“But mom..she’s gone.” Uruha was losing it. He wanted her back. He missed her so badly. The nights he stayed up crying, the times he just need to hear her voice. The simple things that most people took for granted. He needed her, and now the only piece of her he had left was shattered. “I want my Mom.”

“I know, baby.” The other murmured, rubbing his back soothingly. “She wouldn’t want you to be sad. She would want you to move on. She’ll always be with you. She’s the sun’s warmth against your face. She’s the wind that blows through your hair. She’s the rain that trickles off your cheek. She’s the snow that’s falling in your hair. She never left you baby. She’s everything around you. Can’t you feel it? Feel the snow. That’s her, baby. She never left you.”

Uruha fell silent.

He had forgotten. A small smile formed, although the tears didn’t stop. She was everywhere. Aoi always knew the right words to say, always reminded him that there was another side to everything. Even through the darkest tunnel, Aoi found the light. That was what he would miss most. It made him choke on a sob, trying to hold back. He didn’t want to admit he needed Aoi. He loved him. Uruha couldn’t deny that. “Please don’t be so nice. Not when you’re going to leave.”

“Baby, I…” Every part of Aoi wanted to stay with this man. He loved Uruha dearly, moments like this being proof. “Let me give you a ride to the shop.” As much as he wanted to stay, he knew he had to go back to Ruki.

“Okay.” Uruha replied, trying to hide how much his heart ached. Aoi helped him get the pieces of his guitar into his car, and once it was loaded up they left. It didn’t take long to get to the shop, and once Uruha was situated, he left to go back home.

~ ~ ~

“Why not?” Ruki argued as he straddled the spiky blonde. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

“I said no!” Reita growled as he tried to push the petite man off him, not wanting the physical contact that was being displayed. He loved Uruha. Even if he never had a chance, he definitely wouldn’t get with Ruki. “Get off me!”

Ruki crashed his lips against the blonde’s as he moved his hips forward, rubbing himself against the other and moaning from the friction. “God,’re single. Let’s just have fun.”

“You’re dating my co-worker!” Reita snapped, struggling to escape. “Even if you weren’t, I still wouldn’t go for you!”

Click. Click. Click.

The sound of the door opening was left unnoticed as Ruki continued to make his move on his bassist friend. “Aoi won’t be home for awhile. Look, just this once. I’ve always wondered how you’d feel inside me.”

Reita wasn’t looking at him. His eyes met with a pair dark, mahogany hues that were narrowed. “Aoi, I…I’m..It’s not what it looks like!”

“Ruki, get off him.” Aoi’s voice was venomous, his hand mangling in the younger’s brunette locks as he ripped him off the blonde. “Reita, get the fuck out of my apartment.”
Reita was thankful that Aoi arrived when he did. The truth was out. Ruki wasn’t innocent. He found out at work that Ruki was cheating on Aoi. Various people told him about it when he asked, and now he knew Uruha wasn’t lying when he said Ruki was manipulative. He did this for him, showed Aoi the truth. It was his plan. He received a text that morning from the brunette, requesting he come over for movies. It was only a matter of time before he saw Ruki’s true colors. Doing this for his friend, it was the most selfless thing he could do. He was giving Uruha a chance to really be with Aoi. Once Aoi saw Ruki like that, he knew that relationship was done.

“Kouyou, he better make you happy.” He said aloud, smiling despite a stray tear that fell.

“You really care about him, don’t you Rei.” A voice said from behind him.

Reita blinked as he looked behind him, eyes falling upon his ex who lived in the building. “Kai, when did you move back?” He questioned.

“Just got back a few weeks ago. It seems your tying up some loose ends.” There was a subtle aura that seemed to surround the brunette, one that made Reita relax.

Kai simply smiled as he tucked some hair behind his ear. “So..since you’re done with trying to get with Uruha, maybe we can go for a round two? I may not be Uruha, but I’d really like the chance to make you happy.”

Reita smiled in response. “I’d love that.” He whispered, pulling the other in for a hug. He inhaled deeply, that familiar scent reaching his nose, making him feel a sense of security once again. “I’d really love that.”
~ ~ ~

“What happened?” Tora was worried when he saw his friend crying. “Uruha, what’s wrong?”

“Please..I need a new guitar.” He didn’t want to talk about it. He looked at a few models that were hanging in shop, but none of them compared to the beauty of the one he had. “Isn’t there anything good here?”

“Why don’t you come back with me?” He asked, grabbing Uruha by the arm and leading him behind the storage room. “Sit down.” Tora demanded, and he forcefully pushed him down unto the chair. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Uruha watched as he left, frowning as he looked around the small storage unit. He wanted something like the one he had, but everything he looked at couldn’t compare to the beautiful instrument that he once owned. He sighed, leaning back into the chair. “Wonder what he’s doing…”

After a few minutes, Tora returned with a new guitar, one that was still in its box. He watched as the tiger opened it, and there it was. It was his exact model. He reached for it, wanted desperately to see it, to make sure it was real. “How much is she? I need her..Please Tora, I’ll make payments! I have to have this one!”

“It’s on me.” He said, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Your birthday is next week. Consider it an early birthday present.” Tora smiled as he saw his friend’s eyes light up, wanting the other to smile. Tears didn’t suite him. “Enjoy.”

If Uruha could, he’d cry. He smiled widely like a child, hugging the instrument tightly. “I won’t let anything happen to this one!” He said, a wave a relief flooding him. “Thank-you.”

“So are you going to tell me what’s really bothering you?” Tora took a seat beside the blonde. He’d grown up with him, being neighbors since they were three. He knew the accident that happened, the event that changed Uruha’s life forever.

It was late in January, a rather cold night. The road was covered in ice, and he and his mother were driving. He was only twelve then, but they were arguing. Uruha wanted a guitar for Christmas. Secretly she already bought it, but she told him she didn’t get it. Uruha, being the child he was, yelled and was mad that he couldn’t get the one thing he wanted. It began to snow, and it made the road slippery. His mom hit an ice patch and the car flipped. She died on impact. For years Uruha blamed himself, even now at times. It made the tiger sad that he had to endure that.

“Aoi and I are fighting.” Uruha answered, sighing heavily. “We broke up. I’m tired of all the games. He won’t leave Ruki. He’ll never leave him. It pisses me off. He promised he would. You know what? He can have him.”

“That’s the Kouyou I know.” Tora hoped Uruha was telling the truth. All Aoi ever did was bring him down. “You don’t need a guy like that in your life.”

Uruha wished he could deny it, deny the fact he can’t say no to Aoi. He knew if Aoi were to try and take him back, that he’d be in the raven’s grasp again. He’d given up the idea that he would ever have a future with him. Aoi made it clear tonight that he didn’t want to be serious. “Yeah. He’s with Ruki. I don’t want to break up his happy home. I’m done with waiting. I need to find a boyfriend.”

“I’ll volunteer.” The brunette offered, his cheeks flushing at the thought. He had always wondered what it would be like dating him. Both he and Reita wanted to be with him desperately, but they gave up the chase before it even began. Here was Tora’s chance. He wanted to take it. “We could go out for dinner?”

Uruha found himself smiling slightly. He’d never think of dating Tora of all people. But the chance of finding happiness was one he wanted to take. His heart would always belong to Aoi, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t open it up to someone else. “Dinner sounds fine.” He said, taking Tora’s hand in his own.

Tora leaned in to kiss him, but when he heard a message tone go off, he backed away, watching as Uruha flipped his phone open to check it. “Anyone special?”

Uruha sighed as he read who sent the message.

From: Aoi
Ruki and I are done. If you can find it in your heart, can we try again? Just you and me?

Uruha went pale as a ghost. His hand shook as he held the device. He flipped his phone shut, turning his attention back to the tiger. “No. It was nothing.”
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